How I Don’t Do It All. And Africa.

I’m asked all the time, “How do you do it all?”  Those close to me know my secret.  I don’t do it all.  I have learned the art of saying no, and I think I can give you some solid examples of how I do that.  I’m headed to Uganda, Africa for some short term mission work with Watoto Church.  I’ve been traveling for missions a couple times a year the last three years. With three small businesses, 2 kids and a husband, there is a lot of my plate.  Most of the time, I have my priorities straight. Here’s how I don’t do it all.


Fun with my friend in Belize!

Define success
I feel most successful when the school bus comes in the afternoon and I’ve shut down my laptop (or at least closed it), cooked a good meal for my family, and have a free evening to spend with my husband. When I plan my days and weeks to allow for those things, I feel like I’ve done a good job.  I put my roles as wife and mom first, that’s the right choice for me.

I’ll be unplugged for my trip.  And I do love that part of a trip! I am very connected though, so I need some help to unplug successfully.  Michelle Bertoncino of Five Bees is always kind enough to take over admin for the Vend Raleigh Facebook page. I have another Mompreneur friend who admins my smaller pages to keep away the spammers. I did schedule some tweets and posts with some reminders. I set a notice on Stay at Home Rock Star that orders taken after today, will be shipped on my return. (I’m not a huge company, I’m a Mompreneur. It’s okay to be that.)

Let go
I won’t be posting on the website for about two weeks. I see the look on some Mompreneur friends’ faces, approval or not so much. But Vend Raleigh will survive without a blog post for a couple weeks. Kind of like church really, we are Vend Raleigh, the women who participate, not a building, not a website. You’ll continue to tweet me, and chat in the Facebook groups, and write your late blog posts (you know who you are). We won’t end because of a 2 week break.

Always a to-do list
There is always something to do, to tweak, create, someone to call…  And all of those things will be right here when I return. For this week before the trip, I blocked out 4 days a month ago and have not schedule any business related appointments.. I’m still busy and working.  I just completed the October issue of Social Butterflies, I volunteered and took a double shift at school yesterday, and I’m up at 6am writing this blog post for you.  But scheduling ‘nothing’ allows pockets of time to pack, clean, organize for my family while I’m gone- without the crazy. I also scheduled a couple days after I get back to rest and process my trip- which I will honor.

Here’s the thing, my faith and my work have blurred lines. I’m okay with making time for God come in to work on me and my family.  I don’t mind having the website without a post for a couple weeks. It’s going to make people ask, “Where is she?”, and brings me an opportunity to tell them about serving an amazing God.

Here’s a link to Global’s Hope’s Facebook page, if you’d like to follow my trip. This trip’s ministry focus is discipleship with the “Mums”, women who come into the Watoto villages as employees that raise a family of 8 orphans. No doubt my feeling of confidence that I can do something like this comes from the encouragement and partnerships we share here at Vend Raleigh.  I have a trip blog, nothing fancy but filled stories from past missions, if you’d like a more personal look into my mission work.

So, peace and love, and I’ll catch up with you when I return.

Raleigh Mom Owded Business
Cary Heise
Founder of Vend Raleigh
Stay at Home Rock Star
Social Butterflies NC



Mom owned businesses Raleigh, Raleigh small business, small business owner raleigh

Cary Heise
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  1. Well said Cary. Your blog posts are always written with such ease and truth, I love them.

    Building and maintaining boundaries takes confidence, diligence and forgiveness. Confidence enough to know that people will respect your boundaries and the ones that don’t do not need to be interacting with you. Diligence to continue to say no when an item threatens to creep into that space and forgiveness to yourself if that boundary is breeched. This is the most important lesson I have learned from the women at Vend Raleigh and it has helped me soar to new heights.

    I wish you much love and safety during your trip. Drink in every moment!

  2. Thank you for sharing this with us! The beauty of being an entrepreneur is that you get to define your own success. It’s easy to get caught up in “what you should do” rather than what’s right for your business and your life. Great reminder! Praying that your mission trip is all that you want it to be! Stay safe!

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