Raleigh Mom Owned Business, Raleigh Life Coach, Raleigh Mompreneur

4 Steps to Loving You

As Moms and Mompreneurs, let’s face it,  it is hard to do it all and be it all.  I work with so many Moms that struggle with being truly happy with who they are and where they are in life right now.  For my February topics for my weekly ezine, the topics were centered around LOVE- loving you more than you ever have before.  For Vend this month, I have condensed this process so you can begin to see how important this is.  You may wonder how this can tie into your business, but if you utilize your unique traits and skills and if you know and understand yourself, you can be unstoppable.  You are perfect just the way you are and you have so much to give.  Own yourself, own your unique traits and own what you have to give others!

Step 1: So many women and Mom’s seem to struggle with truly loving and accepting who they are and what they bring to others and to this world.  The first step to loving you is to own all of who you are.  Different things have happened to each of you and made an impact on your life.  You have all had both good and bad things happen, and each of these things has the potential to teach you something about who you are.  When you can acknowledge all of the things that have happened to you and you can see all of the events that have combined together to make you your own unique self, you can begin to have a better understanding of who you truly are.

Exercise: Write down the story of your life.  Make a list of the events that have combined to make you the person you are.  Include both the negative and positive events.  

Business bonus:  List your jobs too- include what you loved and disliked and what you were best at and what you struggled with.

Step 2: Knowing and loving you is to own all of who and what you are.  Now that you know yourself and have written about all of the things that make you unique, the next step is to love and accept every part of you.  The good and the bad as well as the happy and sad.   Part of accepting and loving yourself is to forgive yourself and others for each incident you are holding onto.   In the past, this may have been where you got stuck or where you pushed things aside because it was easier to hold onto things than to let them go.   It is time to forgive so you can grow and move on.    

Facing past events and owning each part of the events does not have to be as hard as some of you think.   The past is just that- the past.   Without the past you would not be who you are today.

Exercise:  Forgive yourself and others for the negative things you are holding onto.  Let it all go! 

Business Bonus:  Think about the things you regret in your business and the ways you beat yourself up for not being more successful or more on top of things.  Forgive yourself for not living up to your expectations and find happiness with where you are on your journey today.

Step 3:  Being happy is a choice and each one of you knows inside what it will take to make you happy.  I can hear some of you now, “if I knew what would make me happy, then I would be happy.”  But, what if it is inside and you just aren’t accessing the answers?  Of course, before kids and real jobs and responsibility came along, life may have seemed much easier, but you can still take parts of what you enjoy and make sure you find the right balance for you now.

Step three is about being able to look inside so you are aware of what is most important to you in your life.  It is about accepting you for the person you are right now today.  You need to love, nurture and take time for you and when you understand what you really need; you will be able to create that for yourself.  If things don’t fit and you are doing them out of obligation, find a way to be in alignment with what is most important for you.  If you never take time to do anything enjoyable for yourself, find a way to incorporate something in your life that makes you happy.  You can be happy right now!  I hope you will open yourself up and allow true happiness inside!

In exercise one, you wrote down your life and business story.  You can use that as a guide to help you understand when you were most happy and what you were doing when you found the most enjoyment in life.

Exercise:  Let go of at least one thing you are doing out of obligation in your life.  Replace that with something that makes you smile.

Business bonus:  Look at your job list from exercise one and notice what jobs you loved and what you were great at but also what you struggled with.  How do those things apply to your Mompreneur job?   Apply what you are best at to your business.  Begin to do the things you enjoy and barter or hire someone else to do the things you don’t like to do.  How can you spend your time doing what brings you the most joy and will bring in revenue too?

Step 4:  The final step is “I am”.  It is about creating the life you want and letting go of the thoughts and patterns that don’t serve you. It is about changing your thoughts to appreciate all that you are. It is about looking at what you have to offer and it is about believing in yourself.

I know it is easy to beat yourself up for the things you wish you did better or the things that frustrate or upset you about yourself. It is easy to believe the negative things you say and when you flip things around, the positive things are much harder to hold onto. The negative messages become your mantra, but it should be the positive things you repeat over and over. What if it is finally time to let go of those negative messages and change them to something more positive? What if it is time for you to believe in yourself and all that you are? What if it is time to be who you are meant to be?

Exercise:  Fill in the blank.  I am _________________.   Make a list of what you are great at or what you strive to be great at.  Use words like smart, beautiful or amazing.  Repeat  your list out loud.  Own that you are all of these things!

Business bonus:    Now, do the same for your Mompreneur self.  Say, I am ___________.  Use things like I am succesful, I am a networking machine or I am a sales guru.  Make your list and say it out loud over and over whenever you need a pick-me-up.  Own it and be it!  

Download the complete version of this 4 step process on my website www.redefinebalance.com for free.  All you have to do is sign-up and you will get all of the steps, questions and fieldwork to guide you to find your own true happiness.  Each topic includes more in depth summaries, lots of questions and more complete fieldwork to really help you love yourself and maximize the best of you!  The questions and fieldwork are created to help you go inside to find the answers that are unique to you so take the time to invest in yourself and the answers will come.  What is happiness worth to you?

I would love to hear back from you and if you have wins, challenges, questions or things you want to share while going through the 4 steps.  I hope you enjoy getting to know you!

Raleigh Mom Owned Business, Raleigh Life Coach, Raleigh Mompreneur


Enjoy the journey!

Coach Gaye
Redefine Balance

Cary Heise
Latest posts by Cary Heise (see all)


  1. Gaye – this is fabulous work that you are doing for Moms all over the Triangle and beyond! The exercises are a great way for women to take a time-out for a little bit of personal care – this will go a LONG way for those women who COMMIT and do it! Cheers to you!

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